Jessie Flips: About Glee and the R-Word

Glee as Loser is right!

Last night I watched Glee with my family in the playroom in our central house in Old Ottawa South. And in this specific episode Finn Hudson said the R-word and I got so mad and really sad because I looked up to Finn as well as the actor Cory Monteith. He should NOT have said that. That word is a word that is hurtful, mean, rude and most importantly really Offensive to people who have Down syndrome just like me. How could the writers do something like this? I can’t believe they would they script that line. I think the writers should know that this word, the  R word hurts people’s feelings, the R word is a word that is harmful. It discriminates people with Down syndrome and I hate it.

The show is about inclusion, the show is about celebrating who we are even though we’re different.  The show is about diversity and creativity. And then they use the R word. Come on writers!! Can’t you see that people who have Down syndrome are people too, can’t you see that we also have a voice. Can’t you see that we ALL have the right to be included. 

A Trip

Jessie and I drove down to Montreal for lunch today, to visit with my Mom (Jessie’s Grams) in her new apartment in a seniors’ residence. While the condo she and my Dad had lived in for more than 16 years is still on the market, she decided to go ahead and make the move this past fall. When Jessie found out that the condo was being sold and Grams was moving she cried for days. “But where will we . . . ?” There is that. As her move changes everything about us being in Montreal as a family. No more staying in the guest bedroom, no more quick afternoon jaunts to the movie theatre, no more Jessie & Daddy swims in the pool downstairs, no more Christmas, Thanksgiving, or Easter dinners—or at least not in the way we used to celebrate them. It will all be new and different, and Jessie doesn’t always do new and different too well.

But today, when she walked into the apartment, her eyes lit up, first at Grams, and then as she surveyed the room. While the apartment is probably one-eighth the size of the condo, all the important bits seem to be there: the art, including the John Little painting of Dorchester Square and the Molly Lamb  parade; the bridge table; the colours and chintzes that, although new, are so typically my mother; the books and the mahogany desk; and the rich warm colours with bold accents that have always graced my mother’s choice of décor.

Grams, Jessie & cousin Derek in Montreal

Jessie turned to me and smiled, and then grinned and ran into Grams’ arms. “I am so relieved!” she said, “It is just like home!” Meaning that it was just like the condo, just like all that she was familiar with and that was important to her. And I realized that she was worried that a new place would mean a whole new Grams and a whole new relationship and a whole new way of being. But it is, indeed, like home, in all the ways that matter. And I am not so sure that that has anything to do with the paintings and the décor, or only to do with the paintings and the décor in as much as they reflect who my mother is, and that which she brings with her where ever she goes. And that, as my smart and loving daughter recognized, that inner kernel of selfhood and rooted grace drawn out to bloom through relationship, is what makes it familiar and “home.” Because she could still be with Grams in this place, and because Grams was still Grams, then it was still, much to her relief, home. 

The Hanukkah Chronicles, Part 1

This is how Part 1 begins. Part 1, because I know there will be other parts given that a) this is Jessie,  b)this is Jessie in love, c) this is Jessie in love with Drummer Boy (DB) who is as organizationally challenged as Jessie is, and d) this is seen as a MAJOR MILESTONE on the road to WEDDED BLISS, which involves a beach wedding and living happily ever after in Orange County California with Drummer Boy, as he pursues his wrestling (WWE to be exact) career, and his best friend, who will be managing him. Jessie, of course, will be walking the red carpet right onto the set of Glee along with Lauren Potter. Did you catch all that? So. Just in case you got confused, this is Part 1. And this is how it begins.

Drummer Boy has invited Jessie to celebrate Hanukkah with his father’s family in Montreal. This will be a chance for DB to share his religious and cultural heritage with her, not to mention introduce her to his paternal Grandparents!  This is a BIG deal, for both DB and Jessie. They have talked about this for a long time, trying to figure out when it might happen. This is almost even bigger than, well, other moments you might conceive of in your wild imagination. Bigger certainly if you measure it by emotional energy.

So, they are ready for this. Jessie’s first Hanukkah, first time meeting DB’s bubba. And DB says it’s in December, and Jess is already nervous (I swear she watches the soaps without me knowing, else how to account for this nervousness?) and then we ask DB’s Dad for the date.

December 8. December 8 sounds awfully familiar to me. Too familiar.

After DB leaves with his Dad, we look on the calendar and find that December 8 is Propeller Dance’s Community Day. A very big performance and celebration. Jessie falls to the floor, a puddle of tears. “Remember . . . “ I say and Jessie finishes the sentence through her tears, “every problem has a solution …” but I can tell that she doesn’t quite believe this one.

I do get to hear a diatribe about the importance of sharing your partner’s religious background, about the importance of meeting family, about … well, a number of things that I can’t quite recall because I stopped listening after the first sentence. She didn’t have to convince me of anything. I knew it was important to her and DB and told her so. But somehow this little glitch fed into her bizarre and reoccurring need to re-imagine her and DB as star-crossed lovers overcoming exceptional odds to be together. Exceptional odds like, for example, me and doctor lady (DB’s mom) driving them on dates, or maybe us even setting up dates for them, or maybe us paying for those dates, or maybe us making sure they have uninterrupted and private time together, or maybe … you know, those kinds of exceptional odds.

After recovering from her oh-the-world-is-unfair-and-no-one-understands-true-love meltdown we discussed the options and I assured her that if it conflicted with Propeller, this was one time where I thought she should do exactly what she judged to be best, as I understood how important it was to share Hanukkah with DB and his family. I think I left her gob-smacked, as I had to explain this about 6 times, assuring her that this was probably the one time where work might not take precedence. Of course, I was wrong. Wrong because Community Day is a big day and Jessie is definitely expected to be there as part of her job as teacher and performer.

Three public (i.e., in rehearsal) meltdowns later, I make an executive decision. I step back from real world consequences and having her develop her frontal and other cortices by problem solving and decide to just tell her that we will make it possible for her to do Community day AND get to Montreal in time for Hanukkah.

Guess what I’m doing late in the afternoon on Saturday December 8, right after Propeller’s Community Day?

Thank you, thank you. Just another Hail Mary Pass brought to you by MoM: Maker of Miracles.