Drummer Boy has invited
Jessie to celebrate Hanukkah with his father’s family in Montreal. This will be
a chance for DB to share his religious and cultural heritage with her, not to
mention introduce her to his paternal Grandparents! This is a BIG deal, for both DB and Jessie.
They have talked about this for a long time, trying to figure out when it might
happen. This is almost even bigger than, well, other moments you might conceive
of in your wild imagination. Bigger certainly if you measure it by emotional
energy.
So, they are ready for this. Jessie’s
first Hanukkah, first time meeting DB’s bubba. And DB says it’s in December,
and Jess is already nervous (I swear she watches the soaps without me knowing,
else how to account for this nervousness?) and then we ask DB’s Dad for the
date.
December 8. December 8 sounds
awfully familiar to me. Too familiar.
After DB leaves with his Dad,
we look on the calendar and find that December 8 is Propeller Dance’s Community
Day. A very big performance and celebration. Jessie falls to the floor, a
puddle of tears. “Remember . . . “ I say and Jessie finishes the sentence
through her tears, “every problem has a solution …” but I can tell that she
doesn’t quite believe this one.
I do get to hear a diatribe
about the importance of sharing your partner’s religious background, about the
importance of meeting family, about … well, a number of things that I can’t quite
recall because I stopped listening after the first sentence. She didn’t have to
convince me of anything. I knew it was important to her and DB and told her so.
But somehow this little glitch fed into her bizarre and reoccurring need to
re-imagine her and DB as star-crossed lovers overcoming exceptional odds to be
together. Exceptional odds like, for example, me and doctor lady (DB’s mom)
driving them on dates, or maybe us even setting up dates for them, or maybe us
paying for those dates, or maybe us making sure they have uninterrupted and
private time together, or maybe … you know, those kinds of exceptional odds.
After recovering from her
oh-the-world-is-unfair-and-no-one-understands-true-love meltdown we discussed
the options and I assured her that if it conflicted with Propeller, this was
one time where I thought she should do exactly what she judged to be best, as I
understood how important it was to share Hanukkah with DB and his family. I
think I left her gob-smacked, as I had to explain this about 6 times, assuring
her that this was probably the one time where work might not take precedence.
Of course, I was wrong. Wrong because Community Day is a big day and Jessie is
definitely expected to be there as part of her job as teacher and performer.
Three public (i.e., in
rehearsal) meltdowns later, I make an executive decision. I step back from real
world consequences and having her develop her frontal and other cortices by
problem solving and decide to just tell her that we will make it possible for
her to do Community day AND get to Montreal in time for Hanukkah.
Guess what I’m doing late in
the afternoon on Saturday December 8, right after Propeller’s Community Day?
Thank you, thank you. Just
another Hail Mary Pass brought to you by MoM: Maker of Miracles.
2 comments:
I gasped when I read what else was happening on December 8 and felt so bad for her. But you came to the rescue. Sometimes we need to do that for our kids. You are an AWESOME mom!!
Why thank you! Yes, awesomeness reigns ... I think with our children having an extra chromosome sometimes we get an extra (or grow an extra) awesome bit!
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