I am sitting on one of the
big comfy chairs at the Bridgehead coffee shop with just the right slant of
late afternoon November sun backlighting the steam rising from my café au lait.
This is the five-minute slice of my life that I am savouring and pretending—if
I close my eyes just so and squint, the way you do to see things slant—to own
as reality. But this five-minute slice belies the three-hour hunk where you
would have found me huddled with Jessie in our teeny tiny bathroom holding her
sweaty head as she retched, for hours, over the toilet.
Forward to 8 am phone calls
trying to rearrange her day and buy some space for her to recover, while still
meeting some of her commitments, particularly those that would have caused her
great distress to miss. We settle on the noon-time speech on employment and
mentoring for the Women in Leadership meeting and a pared down afternoon dance
rehearsal for an upcoming funder meeting, and we punt the morning meeting with
a mentor to work on a speech and the evening performance at the university
students' union. Then, I rearrange my day to make it all possible, which, in
order to give Jessie an exit strategy just in case she feels sick again, means putting
my client’s work on the back burner and becoming chauffeur and accompanist.
So, what started out as a
full day of work (because Jessie would have been out on the road doing what she
loves best all day, and getting to and fro on her own) quickly bled away until
all that was left was the chance for a quick pencil edit, in the coffee shop,
of a two-page summary.
The trick, of course, is not
to hold on to expectations, but to be nimble and quick in shifting gears and
not holding anyone hostage in the transition. The trick then, is not to wonder
how you would ever hold down a job that wasn’t freelance or to count the hours
not billed, but to roll over wonder that you got to sleep in (never mind that
you only got four hours sleep) and wake with the sunlight dappling the trees.
To sneak into the Women in Leadership meeting and listen to a wonderful
discussion about mentoring women and people with disabilities and to the
talented and bright and energetic youth with Down syndrome captivating the
audience with their dreams, hopes, talents, aspirations, and challenges in
finding employment and careers. And to sit in a coffee shop with a café au lait
and a newspaper horoscope that reads:
If I am not fulfilled, at
least my horoscope is—because being Jessie’s mother certainly ensures that I
don’t “waste my day entirely on work.”
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