Drummer Boy has invited Jessie to celebrate Hanukkah with his father’s family in Montreal. This will be a chance for DB to share his religious and cultural heritage with her, not to mention introduce her to his paternal Grandparents! This is a BIG deal, for both DB and Jessie. They have talked about this for a long time, trying to figure out when it might happen. This is almost even bigger than, well, other moments you might conceive of in your wild imagination. Bigger certainly if you measure it by emotional energy.
So, they are ready for this. Jessie’s first Hanukkah, first time meeting DB’s bubba. And DB says it’s in December, and Jess is already nervous (I swear she watches the soaps without me knowing, else how to account for this nervousness?) and then we ask DB’s Dad for the date.
December 8. December 8 sounds awfully familiar to me. Too familiar.
After DB leaves with his Dad, we look on the calendar and find that December 8 is Propeller Dance’s Community Day. A very big performance and celebration. Jessie falls to the floor, a puddle of tears. “Remember . . . “ I say and Jessie finishes the sentence through her tears, “every problem has a solution …” but I can tell that she doesn’t quite believe this one.
I do get to hear a diatribe about the importance of sharing your partner’s religious background, about the importance of meeting family, about … well, a number of things that I can’t quite recall because I stopped listening after the first sentence. She didn’t have to convince me of anything. I knew it was important to her and DB and told her so. But somehow this little glitch fed into her bizarre and reoccurring need to re-imagine her and DB as star-crossed lovers overcoming exceptional odds to be together. Exceptional odds like, for example, me and doctor lady (DB’s mom) driving them on dates, or maybe us even setting up dates for them, or maybe us paying for those dates, or maybe us making sure they have uninterrupted and private time together, or maybe … you know, those kinds of exceptional odds.
After recovering from her oh-the-world-is-unfair-and-no-one-understands-true-love meltdown we discussed the options and I assured her that if it conflicted with Propeller, this was one time where I thought she should do exactly what she judged to be best, as I understood how important it was to share Hanukkah with DB and his family. I think I left her gob-smacked, as I had to explain this about 6 times, assuring her that this was probably the one time where work might not take precedence. Of course, I was wrong. Wrong because Community Day is a big day and Jessie is definitely expected to be there as part of her job as teacher and performer.
Three public (i.e., in rehearsal) meltdowns later, I make an executive decision. I step back from real world consequences and having her develop her frontal and other cortices by problem solving and decide to just tell her that we will make it possible for her to do Community day AND get to Montreal in time for Hanukkah.
Guess what I’m doing late in the afternoon on Saturday December 8, right after Propeller’s Community Day?
Thank you, thank you. Just another Hail Mary Pass brought to you by MoM: Maker of Miracles.